My BFF and I had a heated conversation about this issue. And I was adamant, as someone who was bullied, as a teenager, which led to suicidal ideation and depression, that there is no excuse for a 26-year-old to bully a 16-year-old. That's downright bad behaviour. And so for me, it was almost impossible to accept her apology, even though it's not for me to accept. But, my thinking is, yes we are human and flawed but accountability needs to be normalised. And as you said, accountability holding is not about shaming someone but holding people responsible for their actions. It's easy for a bully to circle back and say, "I'm so sorry about what I did" and feel better about themselves. What they don't know is the scars the victim has to carry, which at times take a lifetime to heal. It's unnecessary baggage to put on someone else because you have your issues. And yes, you can't decide how and when or even if, the victim decides to accept your apology. And then when you realise there's a pattern. It wasn't just one person, and that you didn't realise what you did was wrong until you received backlash... Can people just deal with their insecurities to keep them from bleeding on others and causing so much harm? I know, I'm being idealistic but the reality is too grim for me.
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